Searching for Clarity

I have been home for just over a week and half though it has felt much longer.  There have been a lot of questions asked that my answer of “I don’t know” does not suffice.  There has been a lot of activity, some of it mine and some of it tagging along for my parent’s activities. 

Since I have been home they eat breakfast every Wednesday morning at the Rolling Green Community dining hall so I join them for that.  They eat every Thursday evening at the same place with a group of their friends here at Rolling Green and I join them for that.  They cook breakfast for the Mauldin UMC Men’s fellowship once a quarter so I helped this last Sunday by cooking pancakes.  Every Wednesday they participate in the covered dish meal we Methodist are known for so that meal is covered (no pun intended).  In a couple of weeks, the church will start back up their prepared Wednesday night meals and I suspect my mom will be cooking some of those and I will go help with that.  

I got to do some of my own projects as well.  I have helped take out some light fixtures and vanities from a house to be demolished so they could be sold through Habitat for Humanity’s ReStore facilities.  Though honestly by the time I got there most of the hard work had already been done.  I helped a small group take apart a large metal building so that it could be recycled as a Methodist Men’s fellowship fundraiser.  That was after walking with my dad and Mr. Campbell for our weekly six miles at Conestee Nature Trails.  I felt a lot like this fan after we were done.

During all those meals and fun activities, I have been hunting up my old resumes and working on them.  Praying a lot about the opportunities I will be investigating over the coming months.  This is the first time I have ever gone out looking for a job during a time we were not in a recession or down job market.  Before I have even gotten my resume ready, I have been contacted for potential interviews.  Not to mention all the requests for help with non-profit groups as well as offers for odd job projects.

It has been hard to quiet my mind and soul enough to look for clarity in my purpose going forward.  Especially with the confusion of my quick departure after the recall and so many unanswered questions about that situation.

I honestly don’t know how the decision was made to recall me and I don’t have a clue what the future of that ministry is.  I do know that they are looking to contact groups that gave money to wish list items that I had requested with the intention of giving them options for that money including the chance to have it returned.  I don’t know about the truck and the funds used to operate it going forward.  The truck had to be purchased by the NGO in Tanzania and therefore remains their property in Arusha.  I regret that I cannot give you more information about those funds.

I did get my repatriation fund which I have set aside in savings until I decide if I will be repatriating or going back into the foreign mission field.  I have had some excellent conversations with groups that would like me to join their ministries.  If I make the decision to go back overseas then it will remain in savings until such time as I repatriate to the US so I will not need to raise those funds again.

On the subject of clarity, I participated in a Bible study just before I decided to go on my first mission trip called “Experiencing God.”  Much of that bible study had to do with learning to listen to God’s voice in a world of distractions.  I must consider this last Sunday a great example of that.  During our Men’s fellowship breakfast, the devotional was on our last words and what we want them to be.  It was more about living a life that would lead to the right words or as important overshadowing anything we may say.  The sermon was on 2 Peter 3:3-14 which covers a large topic but I felt especially drawn to statements about living our lives prepared for the day of the “coming.” Our Sunday School lesson was along the same lines.

I don’t think those words specifically say do this job or that job.  The “Experiencing God” lesson was about considering what those three separate events could be saying to me and how God could be using them to help me along the right path.  Whatever I decide to do should be (and this is nothing new to anyone I just feel I got the reminder) good for the long term of the world and God’s kingdom.  I may end up working for a company here in SC but that should not be about how many buildings I can build but what kind of impact I can have on the people I meet and work alongside.  I may be back in Tanzania and that should be more about am I really helping the people there and changing lives here.  My search for my future job/ministry/life should be about what impact I can have for God’s kingdom. 

I have felt the power of my supporters in prayer as I seek this clarity and appreciate your continued assistance and blessing.