to be here or not to be here

Sometimes our path is clear sometimes not

So my title this blog is an obvious adaptation of Shakespeare's to be or not to be from Hamlet.  Though that is most likely as far as that connection will go.  In fact this blog is more about a Theological question I often struggle with.  All of it centers around if I am supposed to be here or continue to be here?

My regular readers will remember I am just getting back to Tanzania while struggling through work permit/residence permit issues.  The new regulations passed by the new Tanzanian President in 2016 require anyone getting a residence permit to get a work permit.  Even if you are not doing work and are not taking away the job of a Tanzanian because in my case I actually think I add jobs using US dollars I raise in the states to purchase food, hotel rooms, internet service and materials for home in the village as well as getting all the money the ministry sends over for construction, salaries, medicines, preschool supplies actually gets to those items and the people (Tanzanians) who have earned them.  My current situation is that I still do not have the work permit which would allow me to apply for a renewal of my residence permit.  

This is the world we live in.  It is not a USA problem, in fact it was easier for my counterpart who is Tanzanian to get into the USA than it is for him to get into Canada.  

So while I was at home, in limbo which everyone knows is a state I hate being in.  I would rather charge forward with a bad plan than to have no plan at all.  During this time I reflected on what it would mean if I get rejected and have to leave.  

As Christians we are told we are not supposed to test God.  Deuteronomy 6:16 says "You must not test the LORD your God as you did when you complained at Massah." which is reiterated by Jesus in Matthew 4:7 and Luke 4:12.  The incident about Massah can be found in Exodus 17 but it is the time the people of Israel were complaining to Moses about water and once again said they would have been better to remain slaves in Egypt.  This is where Moses, following the commands he got from God, struck the rock with his staff and water came out.

So we are not supposed to test God, but what about Gideon.  Every time God told him to do something, Gideon asked for a sign to act as proof.  Yes Gideon was the from the weakest tribe and he was the weakest of that tribe so it is understandable he needed reassurance what he was doing was God's will and that God would in fact make it happen.  But it is still testing God right?

Then we go to Malachi (one of my favorite books of the Bible) and in 3:10 he says God wants to be tested :"Bring the entire tithe into the storehouse that there may be food in my house. So put me to the test in this right now," says the LORD of the Heavenly Armies, "and see if I won't throw open the windows of heaven for you and pour out on you blessing without measure."

Wait did not some folks test this theory in the other direction (not giving what they were supposed to).  In Acts 5 Ananis and Sapphira sold land and promised to give all of it to the Disciples but instead kept some.  They tested God here and were both struck down and killed because of it.  The main reason they were killed was because they lied to God but it came out of the act of testing God to see if he would know they kept some.  

In 1 John 4:1 we are told not to believe everything a spirit tells us but to test what they say to see if it is from God.

So over the last 4 months I have struggled with what having trouble getting a work permit means.  Is this a sign that I am to obey outright?  Is this the Devil tempting me to come back to the hot showers and fantastic meals I miss so much?  How do I determine the truth without testing God.

I personally think (and I am by no means the expert here) that Gideon asked for verification of what he was supposed to do but when he got it he got up and did what he was supposed to do.  I have no clue what all the work permit issues mean in the end for my time here in Tanzania.  But I am going to go forward believing that God will bless the action of doing something instead of staying in limbo forever.

Too many times over the years I have run into folks who have great ideas and a passion to carry them out but fail because they are waiting on God to lay out everything and make it happen.  We are supposed to trust in God and not test him, but don't think he won't test your resolve from time to time.  God gave us talents and skills-we have to put them into motion.  Not doing so and simply waiting on God to do it all is testing Him and we are not supposed to do that.  If we ask for God's help or his Guidance and are willing to put the work in while we wait-that to me is less of test and truly seeking His blessing.

The question never ends and I believe that sometimes the answer changes.  For me it is a lot about how the Tanzania side responds to helping themselves more than what the government says about how I can stay.  I can only do so much, FDMUSA can only do so much.  At some point they have to take up the action to move forward.  That will be a sign I understand.