Prayer Life
I have made the following confession before in this blog: I often feel like I am a poor prayer warrior. It is a part of my Christian life I feel is always in need of help. It is not that I don't believe prayers are answered (I do believe that while all prayers are answered sometimes the answer is not yet or just no as opposed to Garth's song Unanswered Prayers).
The last 12 months have been filled with prayers and many of the answers I got were not what I wanted some were. This kind of up and down year (and back up again) can make you take stock in things and see what is working for you and what is not. Of course since this also happened in my fiftieth year some might call it my mid-life crisis, though it is less crisis and more a "deal with the situation" for me.
My failures in my prayer life are most likely the same as many Christians face. It is the daily routine of specific time with God in conversation. I am always up if asked to prayer in public and never have an issue at a church group of mission group of saying let's pray about something right then. But I lack that constant, daily prayer life I see so strong in many great prayer warriors I know. I envy that in them that they are truly in conversation with God.
It is not like I have tried to work on this. I turned a spare closet in my house in the states to a prayer room to have a specific place that was designed to help block out distractions and focus me on prayer time. I have read many books, participated in studies centered around prayer life, and led youth retreats about prayer life.
In fact I often fear I try to carry out specific prayer practices instead of just opening up. It is a difficult process for me to open up truly open up about my life even to God. I have tried the empty chair, focus on a candle, addressing God in my prayers. In the end they always feel forced not real. I often use the Lord's prayer and the serenity prayer when I am struggling to find words to pray. I often find my mind wandering off topic to things I need to deal with.
I will say that walking hot dusty roads avoiding motorcycles and looking out over scenery that really could be from an Zane Grey novel is often the times when I have my best prayers. Though I still wander a bit.
As I said early on, I do believe that prayers are answered. Knowing that my personal prayer life is a weakness I have, I will go to those who are better prayer warriors than myself when there is a big need. I went to them when I left the previous ministry and was not sure what I would be doing next. Now I have found a ministry that I fit in with much better and is working hard to partner with Tanzanians in Christian endeavors. I went to Facebook and prayer warriors in three churches when the rains here were so destructive and the kids at school were getting sick in large numbers due to the increased mosquito activity. While the much needed rains continue, there is a less destruction and all of our kids are out of the hospital and healthy again.
When a nearby church's hand pump on their clean water well broke, we prayed about and we took that leap of faith to agree to pay for the repairs (along with the money they had collected from use of the well for maintenance). Hardly a week after their return, the leaders of B2BU Ministries, Inc. had someone commit a $1000 to the repair covering what we expect our part to be. Less than a month from talking and praying about it, the pump is fixed and they have clean water again.
So prayers work in my opinion. They work best when you prayer regularly and with an open heart. I work to better my prayer life but I also understand what is my weakness and lean on others who are stronger in that area than I am. We each have our gifts and we must recognize and learn to deal with those we don't have or are not fully developed.
So I have the following prayer requests that are on my heart today I share with you, many of who are my strongest prayer warriors:
The last 12 months have been filled with prayers and many of the answers I got were not what I wanted some were. This kind of up and down year (and back up again) can make you take stock in things and see what is working for you and what is not. Of course since this also happened in my fiftieth year some might call it my mid-life crisis, though it is less crisis and more a "deal with the situation" for me.
My failures in my prayer life are most likely the same as many Christians face. It is the daily routine of specific time with God in conversation. I am always up if asked to prayer in public and never have an issue at a church group of mission group of saying let's pray about something right then. But I lack that constant, daily prayer life I see so strong in many great prayer warriors I know. I envy that in them that they are truly in conversation with God.
It is not like I have tried to work on this. I turned a spare closet in my house in the states to a prayer room to have a specific place that was designed to help block out distractions and focus me on prayer time. I have read many books, participated in studies centered around prayer life, and led youth retreats about prayer life.
In fact I often fear I try to carry out specific prayer practices instead of just opening up. It is a difficult process for me to open up truly open up about my life even to God. I have tried the empty chair, focus on a candle, addressing God in my prayers. In the end they always feel forced not real. I often use the Lord's prayer and the serenity prayer when I am struggling to find words to pray. I often find my mind wandering off topic to things I need to deal with.
I will say that walking hot dusty roads avoiding motorcycles and looking out over scenery that really could be from an Zane Grey novel is often the times when I have my best prayers. Though I still wander a bit.
As I said early on, I do believe that prayers are answered. Knowing that my personal prayer life is a weakness I have, I will go to those who are better prayer warriors than myself when there is a big need. I went to them when I left the previous ministry and was not sure what I would be doing next. Now I have found a ministry that I fit in with much better and is working hard to partner with Tanzanians in Christian endeavors. I went to Facebook and prayer warriors in three churches when the rains here were so destructive and the kids at school were getting sick in large numbers due to the increased mosquito activity. While the much needed rains continue, there is a less destruction and all of our kids are out of the hospital and healthy again.
When a nearby church's hand pump on their clean water well broke, we prayed about and we took that leap of faith to agree to pay for the repairs (along with the money they had collected from use of the well for maintenance). Hardly a week after their return, the leaders of B2BU Ministries, Inc. had someone commit a $1000 to the repair covering what we expect our part to be. Less than a month from talking and praying about it, the pump is fixed and they have clean water again.
In case you have a problem with the video
So prayers work in my opinion. They work best when you prayer regularly and with an open heart. I work to better my prayer life but I also understand what is my weakness and lean on others who are stronger in that area than I am. We each have our gifts and we must recognize and learn to deal with those we don't have or are not fully developed.
So I have the following prayer requests that are on my heart today I share with you, many of who are my strongest prayer warriors:
- The upcoming trip home to work on getting a work permit again with the new organization
- Speaking opportunities during that time home (I have not had many to talk about the new organization.)
- Praises for the work with the new organization and the opportunities I have to continue with this group for years to come (I know we have work until my initial personal 6 year commitment is up in December 2019 but it can most likely continue for for years after that)
- Praise and prayers that the new ministry has committed to building me a house at site
- For teams and individuals to come visit this ministry and see the wonderful opportunities available for partnerships.
- For funding the operation of the school as it grows and focuses on providing quality education to kids who may not get it otherwise
- For my parents, my being here is tough on them
- The kids at our school and those to join us in the future to see God's love for them and a chance to better their lives, both through this school
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